Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
