after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
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Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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