Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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