if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
