it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i need an iv and a liver transplant
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize