I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
