Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
