god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize