Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
