I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
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I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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