Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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