Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
