I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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