pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
