i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
