i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
