Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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