i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
