I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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