You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
