2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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