You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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