just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize