Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
