i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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