I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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