I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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