ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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