I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize