I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize