so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
