perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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