I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
