And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
