I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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