We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
