Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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