btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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