this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
