Whod you bang
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
