I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
