can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you made out with another girl for some wings
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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