So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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