What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
