I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
