So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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