this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
