I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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