It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
