worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She bit a glass in half.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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