I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
