we're chasing vodka with high fives
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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