You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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