Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think pants incapable of making pants work
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
