Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
