I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
